Hidden assassins and witless patsies. Shadowy cabals. Secretive meetings in smoky rooms. According to conspiracy theorists, the truth is out there -- it's just being kept from the public by secret societies out to control the world (or save it). Call it apophenia (humans' tendency to see patterns in random data), or call it realities too awful for the rest of us to acknowledge -- for whatever reason, conspiracy theories have been a part of human culture since Cain suspected God and Abel had a racket going. Here are some of the more common conspiracy theories still in play today. We'd give you the real story behind them all, of course, but then we'd have to kill you.